What the Doctor Saw
by seditionary
Summary: The evidence is in. Reid's the heartbroken eye witness. Even Morgan can't refute his guilt-but is it possible that he's innocent? Reid/Morgan slash, featuring Jordan Todd as the girl who gets Morgan into hot water with Spencer.
1. Chapter 1 Derek's Mistake

**A/N: Ok, so I just got through with "Disordered" and already have plot bunnies driving me mad. This will have 5 or 6 chapters, I think... Please review, you know I'll squee!**

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Spencer Reid rolled over and switched off his alarm clock. Immobilized by the effort, he lay on his stomach with his face burrowed deeply into his pillow. Why he'd set his alarm for 7:00 am on a Saturday morning, he couldn't imagine.

It occurred to him that it might have had something to do with a vague determination to "get things done." To tackle a series of homey tasks--none of which he could recall at the moment--and, in the bigger picture, to wrestle back control of his life and put his feet back on the path from which they had been so foolishly diverted.

Groggily, his mind delved into his guilt-list: first and foremost, there was laundry. At least one overdue bill. His car needed something done to it, he wasn't sure what. He owed his mom a letter. He knew he needed to give his apartment a good cleaning--he'd been out of town so often over the last few months that the place had degenerated into a steaming pit of single-guy hell.

Not surprising, considering that, for the last six months, what little free time he'dhad when he was in town had been spent almost entirely at Derek Morgan's house.

Until they broke up.

Between his increasingly pressing sense of duty and the unpleasant Morgan-memories, any hope of dozing off again had become impossible, so Reid dragged himself into an upright position, found his ratty old plaid bathrobe and pulled it on over his t-shirt and underwear ensemble. He padded into the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee. A gentle outside pattering noise told him that it was raining again. He glanced out the window at the gray morning and sighed.

_Perfect. _

A miserable day to match his miserable mood. At least there was coffee to look forward to.

The pot had almost finished brewing when a knock came at his door. Frowning, he checked the peephole and, for just a flash, was elated to see Morgan standing there. Then, he remembered how angry he was with him, and he almost walked off without responding. But Derek called, "Spencer! Open the door! Come on, man, I know you're in there. Give me a break, will you?" Reid pursed his lips, waited three beats, then opened the door with a sour expression on his face.

"What do you want?"

Morgan's running clothes were soaking wet, and little beads of water were still trickling down over his shaved head and onto his face. He wiped a hand over his eyes and cheerily said, "Hey, Spencer! How's it going, kid?"

"I asked, what do you want?"

"Oh--well, see, I went for a little run this morning, and the weather turned ugly on me. I... thought you might let me come in and warm up for a few minutes." Morgan had a hopeful grin on his face and he made a show of clasping his arms around himself and shivering. Reid continued to stare balefully at him, but finally stepped away from the door and let him in. Morgan entered and glanced around the familiar room. It looked exactly the same as it had the last time he'd been there, back when they were lovers. Which was... only two weeks ago. It seemed more like a million years since he'd held the boy in his arms.

"Thanks, babe."

"Don't call me that."

"Oh, yeah, right. Sorry. So... do you have a towel, or something?" Morgan was dripping on the carpet, so Reid went and found a large bath towel. He also grabbed a neatly folded t-shirt from the top of his dresser.

He returned to the living room and handed Morgan first the towel, then the t-shirt.

"What's this?"

"That's yours. I've been meaning to bring it to work with me so I could give it back. Guess it's a good thing that I didn't." Reid stood by as Morgan peeled off his soaked muscle shirt and held it tentatively as he looked around for a place to deposit it. Reid took it and threw it into the sink, trying not to look at Morgan's glistening chest muscles as he swabbed away the residual moisture before putting on the dry shirt.

Morgan sniffed the air. "Say--is that fresh coffee? Damn, I could stand a cup--"

"Just tell me why you're here."

"I told you, I just happened to be out this way--"

"Don't give me that. This is nowhere near your usual route. You came all this way, so why not get to the point." Reid leaned against the kitchen counter and folded his arms. Morgan took a deep breath and came up to him. He positioned himself in a way that allowed him to look straight into Reid's eyes, and he put the most earnest expression possible on his own face.

"Spencer, I just want to talk. I know you're still upset with me, but--"

"I'm not upset. I'm _done." _Reid's mouth was a grim line and his jaw was set. "I don't have anything to add to what I've already said to you, so I don't really see what's left to discuss. But, if you have some new information to offer--such as, you've been diagnosed with an advanced case of brain-rot which led to you behaving like an idiot, feel free to bring it up. I'll give it due consideration."

Morgan looked completely deflated, then shook his head. "No. I don't have any new information. I was just thinking... well, _hoping, _that maybe you were feeling a little differently by now."

"I'm not."

He stared into the stormy brown eyes and nodded. "Ok. I'm sorry. I just... I just thought I'd take a chance." He smiled sadly. "It was good to see you, though, away from work. I've missed that robe." He tugged gently at the flannel on Spencer's arm, then reluctantly turned to leave.

Reid rolled his eyes. "I thought you wanted coffee."

Morgan brightened and turned back. "Well, yeah! That would sure hit the spot."

Reid shook his head, marveling at the depths of his own pathetic-ness, and poured them both a cup. They sat down at his kitchen table and sipped the hot liquid in silence. Then Morgan spoke.

"I'm just so deeply sorry, Spencer. I wish--"

"Stop."

"I know. I know it doesn't help to keep saying it, I just... I don't know what else to do. I love you. I love you so much. And, I'd do anything--"

"Please, stop."

"I'd do anything in the world to take it all back, but I can't. If there was anything, _anything,_ I could do to make you stop hating me--I'd do it, you know that."

"I don't hate you. But, I don't like you anymore, and I don't trust you. That's just the way it is, now." Reid idly stirred another spoonful of sugar into his coffee. "I wish it didn't matter to me. I wish I was some... sophisticated man-about-town who didn't care about fidelity. But, I'm not. And, it does matter to me." To Reid's disgust, his eyes were filling with tears. He angrily swiped at them with the sleeve of his robe.

"When I saw you... with her... my heart broke. It's just going to take a long time for it to heal, and even when it does--there's no way I can forget that sight. The two of you... in bed together... what you were doing... " Reid dropped his eyes and shook his head, and Morgan saw a tear splash onto the table. Reid looked up, and his voice was strained, but firm. "I wish I didn't care, but I do. So, please--just finish your coffee and leave."

Morgan nodded sadly. His own heart had been broken repeatedly and on a regular basis, ever since Reid found him in bed with Jordan Todd. It had just split wide open once again.

"Ok, kid. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. I just... I'm sorry." Morgan stood up and placed his half-empty cup on the counter, then came and pressed a kiss onto the top of Reid's head. "I know what I did was wrong. But, I swear to God, Spence--I don't remember any of it." With that, he turned and headed out the door.

Reid pursed his lips as he felt anger once again replace the hurt. There was a part of him that thought that maybe, just maybe, if Morgan would at least admit the truth--that he'd invited Jordan into his bed--maybe Reid could forgive him. He understood about the pressures of the job, and what could happen when that pressure built up, only to be abruptly released at the end of a successful case with a celebration and lots of booze.

But, to deny that he'd even done it, when he was caught red-handed, so to speak--that was unforgivable.

Reid put the dirty dishes in the washer and went to take a shower. On his way to the bathroom, he threw Morgan's wet running shirt into the trash.


	2. Chapter 2 Two Weeks Earlier

_Two weeks earlier..._

It had been a grueling several days in Delmont, Oklahoma. The case had dragged on and on due to the ineptness of the local police department, and their bungling had put almost all of the agents in peril, in one way or another. Both Hotch and Morgan had barely avoided getting shot; Reid had nearly been run over by a cop car; and Prentiss had slipped in a pool of blood while chasing the unsub through a shopping mall, and sprained her ankle as a result.

The whole situation would have been laughable if lives hadn't been at stake.

Miraculously, Reid and Morgan managed to get to the victims before they were blown up, while Hotch and Rossi brought in the unsub.

That night, the whole gang--except for Garcia, who'd stayed in Quantico--went out on the town to celebrate, and ended up in the hotel bar for after-dinner drinks.

Reid was now alone, seated in a booth which the rest of the team were using as home base for the evening. He sipped a rum and Coke, watching indulgently as Morgan, seated on a stool at the bar, shamelessly flirted with Jordan Todd.

It didn't bother him--Morgan was a natural flirt and Reid knew it didn't mean anything. Besides, Jordan and Morgan had butted heads ever since she came on board to fill in during JJ's maternity leave, and Reid knew Morgan was irritated by her.

And, anyway, Reid knew that Morgan loved him. He reached into his chest pocket and touched two hotel room key cards. One was for his own room; the other unlocked Morgan's door. They'd developed a little system for when they were out of town together--they would each get two key cards, then at the first opportunity, they'd slip one of their own to the other. Then, they'd take turns spending the night in each other's room.

It worked great. They'd mix it up--sometimes, Morgan would be the first to leave the group. He'd head to Reid's room, or, he'd go to his own room and wait for Reid to gracefully pull away and meet him there. Other times, Reid would initiate the arrangement.

It had been going on for months, ever since they first started casually sleeping together. At first, it was just a sort of test of their ability to craftily put something over on the rest of the team, and soon became an inside joke between the two of them; the fact that they were able to indulge in their new-found obsession with each other's bodies was a pleasurable bonus. Then, somehow, it became... necessary. Essential. Vital.

The rest of the team never noticed.

As long as Morgan occasionally played at being a player, the idea of him being attracted to another man remained inconceivable. And, Reid was careful to maintain his status as an almost asexual geek. No one thought of them as a potential couple. Which was good... mostly. Except for times like these, when they both played their roles so well, and Morgan would say the right things to the wrong people, and Reid would say nothing to anyone, and both of them ended up spending the evening feeling lonely as hell, with only their nighttime secret to sustain them.

Reid shook his head resignedly and slid out of the booth to go to the bathroom. On the way, he heard Morgan's silky-smooth voice purring to Jordan: "Oh, now, sweet thing, I know you know my room number. You want to continue this conversation, you just come on up there and knock three times so I know it's you. I'll let you in and we'll have a real... _deep _discussion on the subject."

Reid rolled his eyes and moved past slowly enough to be able to hear Jordan's laughter and response: "Well, you know, Agent Morgan, I just might do that. I do love a good, down-and-dirty... _debate." _Reid mentally winced and hastened along to the men's room. Clearly, alcohol had smoothed out any rough edges that had existed between the two of them, and Reid really didn't want any more of their insipid banter imprinted on his tired brain.

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Reid had just returned to his seat when Hotch returned to the bar from the hotel lobby, where he had been using his cell phone and talking to the desk clerk. He strode over to Reid and slid into the seat across from him.

"Reid, we have a problem."

"What's wrong?"

"All the hotels in town are booked up, and the governor is flying in tonight so that he can deliver an address in the morning, congratulating the police department and thanking us for bringing in the unsub. I've volunteered to give up my room and bunk with someone else, but it turns out you're the only one with a room with two beds. Would you mind if I moved in with you for tonight?"

Reid's one consolation for suffering through an evening of Morgan acting like Mr. Big Shot around Jordan had been the thought of slipping into his room later on and crawling into bed with him. There was no way he would be able to get away with that if Hotch was in the room with him. He pushed the disappointment aside and nodded brightly.

"Sure, Hotch, that's no problem."

"Great. I'll get my things and ask for a key to your room."

"Oh, don't bother--here, take mine. I'll get another one before I go up." He checked the room number on the little envelope, then handed Hotch his key card, and his supervisor slid it into a pocket.

"Thanks, Reid. I appreciate it."

He turned and left. Reid sighed. He got up and went to tell Morgan the bad news.

Morgan and Jordan were laughing, and Jordan's hand was resting on Morgan's arm. He turned when he felt Reid tap him on the shoulder.

"Hey, man. What's up?"

"Sorry to interrupt, but can I speak with you for just a second? Sorry," he said again directly to Jordan. She made a dismissive gesture and turned back to the bar to order another round of drinks for the two of them.

Morgan and Reid stepped off to the side, out of earshot. Morgan looked worriedly at Reid.

"Hey, babe--you know this is all bullshit with Jordan, right? You're not--"

"No, no, I know what you're doing. It's fine. No, actually, there's a... situation I needed to let you know about."

"What's wrong?"

"The governor's coming in, and the hotel's overbooked. Hotch is going to share my room tonight."

Morgan's face twisted into an annoyed glare. "What? Oh, fuck, no. That's going to mess everything up for later!"

"I know. I'm sorry, but I'm the only one with a double room. Hey--it's ok. We'll... make up for it tomorrow night, at home." He leaned in and whispered, "In complete privacy." He grinned teasingly at his lover, and a reluctant smile crossed Morgan's face.

"Well... all right. To tell you the truth, I'm about beat. I guess it wouldn't hurt me to just... go to sleep, for a change, huh?"

"Probably not, and the same goes for me. Ok, well--get back to your would-be paramour over there, looks like she's getting impatient." Reid's eyes twinkled and he headed back to his booth, where Prentiss had taken a seat facing the bar. He slid in across from her and picked up his drink.

Prentiss gave her drink a swirl and nodded at him. "Hey, Reid. How's _your _evening going?"

"It kind of sucks. How's your ankle?"

"Amazingly painful. I can't believe I had to go to the emergency room while Hotch and Dave brought in the unsub. I swear, I miss out on everything."

"I know how you feel." Reid smiled at her and saw that she was staring toward the bar. He glanced back and saw that Jordan was leaning forward, saying something directly into Morgan's ear, making him laugh. Prentiss huffed.

"God, why doesn't she just blow him right here in the bar? She'd save them both some time."

Reid's eyes widened, and he shifted uncomfortably. "Uh--well, that would be highly inappropriate."

"Oh, she could get away with it. Some of these tables have tablecloths."

Reid couldn't help but glance around to see that she was right. He nervously cleared his throat, and Prentiss laughed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you with sex talk."

Reid shrugged and said, "That's ok. That's usually about as close as I ever get."

Prentiss laughed again and shook her head. "Come on, Reid--you could get some if you just put a little effort into it. You're a cute guy."

Now, Reid stared, utterly discomfited. "Uh, well--I think I'm just going to go up to my room, now. Hotch is bunking with me, and he's already there. I wouldn't want to disturb him once he's asleep."

Prentiss had heard the story about the governor coming in, and she pursed her lips in disgust. "You know, Hotch can be a jerk, but sometimes, he's too damn nice. He should have made them move somebody else. I'm sure there're people in this hotel who didn't nearly get killed today."

Reid nodded his agreement, stood up, and said, "Goodnight, Emily. See you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Reid. Good job today, by the way."

"Thanks." Reid strode to the exit and headed to the front desk. He got another key to his room and took the elevator up to his floor. He unlocked his door and went in. Hotch was lying under the covers on one of the beds, reading.

"I moved your things to the dresser," he said without looking up.

"Thanks." Reid slipped out of his trousers and took off his shirt, leaving him in socks, underwear and a t-shirt. He slid under the covers and took out a book. The two men read in silence for nearly an hour, then Hotch leaned over and shut out his light.

"Good night, Reid. Sleep well."

"Will it bother you if I keep the light on a little longer?"

"No, not at all." Hotch turned over and pulled the covers over himself. Reid went back to his book and read for another fifteen minutes. He felt himself getting sleepy, so he put the book on the nightstand and turned out the light. He settled in and tried to sleep, but he kept thinking of Morgan.

Derek Morgan had an extremely high sex drive, and he rarely let his boyfriend go to sleep without, at the very least, a quick fuck before turning in. Reid had become happily accustomed to the release of soothing endorphins that allowed him to slip off to dreamland without any effort whatsoever. Now, he was missing that. He found himself turning on one side, then the other, unable to find a comfortable position. He lightly stroked himself, thinking of how Morgan's warm hands always seemed to know exactly when, how much, and how hard he needed to be stimulated in order to bring him to orgasm.

He was getting too worked up, so he folded his arms across his chest and considered going to the bathroom for a hasty round of self-pleasure. But, having someone else in the room--especially Hotch--brought up too many memories of being thirteen and having his mother rap on the bathroom door while saying, "Spencer! You've been in there forever, what in the world are you doing?"

No, that just wasn't going to work for him.

Reid sat up, leaned back on his pillow and considered. He could creep out and run down to Morgan's room. They could make love, cuddle for a while, then he could return and sneak back into the room without Hotch ever knowing a thing. Even if he did happen to wake up and miss him, Reid could say he hadn't been able to sleep and went to read in the lobby for a while. That would work.

Reid listened to Hotch's steady snores. He softly asked, "Hotch?" When he got no response, he added, "Hotch? You asleep?" The man continued his snoring.

He got out of bed, pulled on his pants and shirt, checked to make sure he had the key cards, and took his book with him, for authenticity's sake. He made his way quietly to the door, pausing to make sure that Hotch was still snoring, and then slipped out and took the elevator down to Morgan's floor.

He pulled out his cell phone, intending to call Morgan to let him know he was on his way. His finger hovered over the number pad for a moment, but then he clicked the phone shut and put it back in his pocket.

He thought it would be a lot more fun to surprise him.

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**Please review, dears--it spreads the love, in a good way! ;)**


	3. Chapter 3 Back at the Bar

_Back in the bar..._

Jordan was doing something with her hand. She was squeezing the thick muscle that ran along the top of Morgan's thigh, while at the same time working her way up towards his crotch. The action was sending little shocks of pleasure through his nervous system, and he knew he had to put a stop to it, now_, _while he was still sober enough to do so with some grace and civility. He clamped his hand down on top of hers and looked her in the eye.

She, too, was half-drunk, he could see that. That was, of course, exactly what he wanted at this point. It would be much easier to slide out of this mess if she were a little off her game. Then, later, he could use her compromised state as a good excuse for having ended their sexually-charged banter.

"Hey, hey, gorgeous--listen, I'm sorry, but I think I'd better head on up to my room. I'm beat. I'm just going to try to get myself a good night's sleep for a change, know what I'm saying? So, I'll catch you later, all right?"

"Derek! Don't be such a party-pooper. We have the whole night ahead of us." Jordan gave him a sultry look. "Of course, if you're determined to go to bed--I could come along. I have some very effective stress-relief techniques that I'd be happy to demonstrate for you."

Morgan forced an appreciative laugh. "I bet you do. No, honey, I'm serious. This was a hell of a day. I wouldn't be of much use to you, if you know what I mean. I'm just going to go on up. I'll see you tomorrow."

"But--"

"Goodnight!"

Morgan threw back the last of his drink, nodded at her, and slipped by to head for the hotel elevators. He could feel her disbelieving stare follow him like a laser, but he didn't look back. He thought of the myth of Medusa, and laughed to himself... He'd have to tell Reid about that, he'd get a kick out of it.

As he rode up, he tried to figure out exactly when it was that he lost control of the situation. He was doing ok up until the moment when Reid gave him the bad news about not being able to get together that night; after that, he'd downed a few more drinks--more than usual--and totally lost the thread of the conversation. Jordan had been quick to take up the reins. Light flirting had turned into out-and-out hooking-up talk and he'd had a hard time turning it around, not that he'd done so very effectively. Jordan, he'd discovered, had a bulldog-like determination once she got her heart set on something.

If they ever had a follow-up confrontation about it all, and he sincerely hoped they wouldn't, he'd tell her that he had been drunk, and that would be no lie. He'd further embellish his reasoning with some reference to having gotten carried away almost to the point of forgetting that it was against FBI policy to fraternize with a fellow agent, and thank goodness he'd come to his senses in time. That she was a beautiful woman, but that, even in his alcohol-induced condition, he cared too much about her to allow her to put her job in jeopardy on account of his bad judgment, and blah blah blah, whatever.

She could think what she liked about him after that.

He made a bleary mental note--one of these days, he was going to have to talk to Reid about the two of them coming out to the team. This ladies'-man routine was getting old...

Morgan got off the elevator and wove slightly as he made his way down the hall to his room. The booze was definitely kicking in now. He paused in front of his door and fumbled for his key card. He found it, but was momentarily stumped; the little arrow indicating which way to point the card kept eluding him. Once he figured it out, he went in, stripped naked and crawled under the covers. He swiped at the light switch, and at last closed his eyes, enjoying the way the room continued to swirl around behind his lids.

He _was _drunk, no question about that. And, it felt pretty good; the lightness was a nice counterpoint to the exhaustion in his bones. Consciousness almost slipped away from him several times, but he kept seeing the unsub's gun, pointed first at Hotch, then at himself. There had been that moment when he'd really thought that they were done, over, finished, and it was amazing how much it had taken out of him. The sheer flood of adrenaline alone had wiped him out.

Then, there was Reid--Morgan would never forget the look in his eyes as the cop car came barreling down on him, and he'd never forget that heart-stopping fraction of a second when, just before the boy threw himself out of the way, Morgan was certain that the careening vehicle was about to slam into Reid's skinny body. God--Spencer. He could have... An image of the kid lying broken and bleeding on the side of the road flashed into his mind.

_Damn it. _It was too much.

Morgan's eyes flew open and he rubbed at them, now thinking about how cold and empty the bed felt. He'd become so accustomed to pulling Spencer into his arms at night and feeling him snuggle up against him that the idea of falling asleep alone seemed hopeless, especially after today's events. He turned on the radio, hoping the music would soothe him. He tried repeatedly to empty his mind and settle down, but his body wouldn't allow it. He finally got up and went to his go-bag.

He had a prescription for a sleep aid that he always took with him on trips. It used to be that he was almost never able to let go enough to fall asleep in a hotel bed, and he'd developed a powerful fear of insomnia. The fear was strong enough that he still took them with him as insurance, even though it hadn't been a problem since Reid became his lover--a good round of sex always worked miracles for him, but that clearly wasn't going to happen that night, so...

He took two pills.

He went back to bed and languidly stroked himself. It was mostly just for comfort, and he didn't even get hard before the pills began to work their magic. The room went back to spinning, and he finally drifted off before the next round of anxiousness could begin crawling through his brain.

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_Back in the bar with Jordan..._

Jordan watched Morgan disappear into the hotel lobby, and she shook her head in annoyance. It was a shame he was such a good-looking man, such a damn good-looking man. He could be sexy as hell when he turned on the charm, as he had been doing with her all evening. What the hell was the matter with him? She really thought she'd finally broken through his defenses. Watching him walk away like that confused her. She knew he wanted her--why'd he blow her off?

A part of her--the semi-sober part--said "Good riddance, he's a jerk," but another part of her told her that Derek Morgan presented a challenge, and, boy, did she love a challenge. All she had to do was to figure him out--clearly, there was something going on there that wasn't immediately apparent. Jordan frowned as she sipped her drink, trying to think through the situation, in spite of a light, alcohol-induced haze. She'd been immersed with profilers for weeks; surely if she just stopped and applied some of her new-found knowledge to the situation, Morgan's behavior would make sense to her.

He was a sharp, self-confident man; but, he'd kept her at arm's length up until tonight. Why? He didn't go after the other BAU ladies, either; he'd never once made a pass at JJ or Prentiss--she'd inquired--and while he flirted like crazy with Garcia, everyone knew they were just friends.

Suddenly, understanding dawned. _Underneath that slick, charming, smooth-talking, he-man exterior, Derek Morgan was insecure. _Maybe he had a small penis. Or, maybe he just had a hard time relating to girls, one-on-one. Of course--that was it. The alcohol must have loosened him up, only for him to have lost his nerve at the last minute.

Well, a man like that just needed a little hands-on encouragement.

Jordan smiled slyly. Morgan had settled their tab, so she slid off the bar stool, steadied herself, and went to the hotel's front desk. She waited until a young, clearly inexperienced clerk was left alone at the counter.

"Excuse me," she said, batting her eyelashes. "I'm Mrs. Derek Morgan, and I just got in. My husband's not answering his phone, could I get a key to our room, please? It's number 237."

The kid smiled and, eager to be helpful to the pretty lady, quickly pulled up the info on his computer. Seeing that Agent Morgan had requested two keys, he assumed the previous clerk had forgotten to note that a second person would be occupying the room. Happened all the time. He ran the key card through the machine and handed it to Jordan. "There you go, ma'am. Have a good stay!"

"Thank you so much." Jordan sauntered to the elevator and made her way up to Derek's room.

She tapped at the door and waited. Once it became obvious that Morgan wasn't going to answer, she let herself in.

"Derek?"

The room was dark, so she turned on the overhead light. Morgan was in his bed, sound asleep under the covers. She smiled, went to the bed and knelt beside him.

"Der-rek..." He still didn't respond. Jordan stood up and took off all her clothes. She pulled the covers off of Morgan's naked body and took a moment to appreciate the bounty before her. Clearly, a small penis was _not_ his problem. "Um-hmm. You do look even better under those clothes than you do in them." She lay down next to him and gently bit into the skin on his neck. He stirred slightly. She moved lower, and nipped and licked at a nipple. He squirmed and made a groaning noise.

Jordan giggled, and took his limp cock in her hand and squeezed. Morgan threw an arm over her and pulled her against him. She heard him murmur something--it sounded like, "Umm, Spencer," but that didn't make any sense.

She frowned, then shrugged. She scooted out from under his arm and moved herself lower on the bed until her mouth was directly over Morgan's still-uninterested cock. She held onto the base and put the tip in her mouth. He was big, bigger than she was used to. It wasn't easy to fit him in much past a couple of inches, but she concentrated and managed to get about halfway down.

Groggy, Morgan half-smiled. _Aw, Spencer... _Either he was having the world's most vivid--and sexy--dream, or his sweet little genius must have figured out how to get around the Hotch problem. He tried to respond, but he felt as if he were moving through Jello. He couldn't even open his eyes.

Finally, he managed to reach a hand down to stroke the kid's long, silky hair, but something was wrong. It was nice, but it didn't feel like Spencer's hair. Hmm. Maybe it _was_ a dream. Morgan decided to let it be whatever the hell it was, because it was starting to feel really good, and he was too woozy to care. Dream-Spencer definitely knew what he was doing.

The radio was a bit too loud, Jordan was a little too focused, and Morgan was much too bleary from the effects of booze combined with two sleeping pills for either of them to notice a keycard being slid into the room's door lock.

Intent on sneaking into Morgan's bed to perform basically the same act with which Jordan was already occupied, Reid quietly opened the door, peeked in, and stopped dead in his tracks.

Morgan and Jordan. Naked, lying on the bed together. Jordan had several inches of Morgan's cock in her mouth, and he was running his hand through her hair.

Stunned, Reid stared in silence. Then, he stepped back and gently closed the door. He stood for a moment with his hand on the knob, feeling his heart pounding and his mind numbing.

He bit his lip, turned and walked away.


	4. Chapter 4 That Night and Next Morning

**A/N: Hello again, dear ones! Some naughty words in this chapter, but that's about it... Reviews are loved, as are you...**

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Morgan loved what Spencer was doing with his mouth. But, even in his doped-up state, he had a vague sense that something wasn't right. He breathed deeply, and a delicate flowery scent wafted into his consciousness. The world behind his eyes was still unformed, liquid, but one thing penetrated his brain--that fragrance was not Spencer. The boy had a fresh, spicy scent that reminded him of a crackling fire on a cold fall evening, or maybe a freshly mown lawn in spring. This was more like... one of those girly scents. Like a department store cosmetics counter on a Saturday afternoon. Garcia sometimes smelled like that.

But, Garcia wasn't there, and anyway, she wouldn't be doing... _that._

Morgan fought to open his eyes. He groaned and looked down. His hazy mind registered what he was seeing, and suddenly, everything became stark and clear.

He recoiled, and yanked his still-limp member out of Jordan's mouth while at the same time sputtering, "No... no, no, no, _no!" _He gave her a shove to the edge of the bed, and managed to gaspingly articulate, "Jordan! Damn it, what the hell are you doing? Get out of here!"

The violent rejection of her attention was both bewildering and offensive, and Jordan stared at him for a moment before the full force of her fury overtook her.

"What the hell do you _mean_, what am I doing? You wanted me up here, I'm doing exactly what you wanted me to do--what the hell's the matter with _you_?" Jordan sat up, flustered, then she rolled off the bed and knelt on the floor, blindly searching for her clothes.

"I didn't ask you to do this!" Morgan had scooted so far away from her that he almost fell off the other side of the bed. He managed to catch himself, but the room was spinning and things still felt a little bit wavy. "We were just hanging out, flirting a little, but--"

"Oh, the fuck you didn't ask me. We were down in the bar, and--don't act like you don't remember! Derek Morgan, you are an asshole bastard, and I'm never speaking to you outside of work again!" She jerked her blouse over her head and pulled her skirt up, not bothering to zip it. She gathered up her underwear, slip, and shoes and headed to the door. She yanked it open, cast a last thunderous look at the man on the bed, then stepped out and slammed the door shut, leaving only a violent reverberation behind.

Morgan buried his face in his hands. He didn't understand it. His last firm memory was of talking about going upstairs--alone, but... everything became a little fuzzy after that point. He kind of remembered her offering him some "stress relief" and then, the two of them laughing. Oh, holy hell. Had he really invited her to go up with him? He must have...

For a moment, Morgan felt like crying. He would never cheat on Spencer, never. Not in a million years would he hurt his sweet boy like that. At least, not in his right mind he wouldn't. But, apparently he hadn't _been _in his right mind. He tried to calm down, tried to retrace the evening's events after initially saying goodnight to Jordan at the bar.

But, in the time that followed that moment, nothing seemed real. He knew she'd made him an offer--maybe he wasn't clear in his refusal? Maybe she followed him and...

He knew he'd turned his disappointment at not being able to have Spencer spend the night with him into a run of alcohol consumption way beyond what he was used to. There was a time when he could handle his liquor, but he was older now... He tried to focus on exactly what he'd said and done, what Jordan had said and done, but every time he thought he had an image in his mind, it would turn into a wisp and float away.

One thing was certain--waking up to find Jordan Todd latched onto his dick had _happened_. There was no question about that. Regardless of how filmy his earlier memories were, he couldn't deny that she'd been in his bed, fellating him. How she'd gotten there didn't matter--obviously, he must have invited her. But, why? He just couldn't remember.

His puzzlement turned into anxiety. What about Spencer? What would he say? What would he do? Morgan couldn't bear the thought of those huge brown eyes widening at the news of Morgan's betrayal.

But--he didn't mean to do it... Surely Spencer would understand. He'd explain it to him--the flirting got out of hand, he'd had too much to drink, somehow Jordan had talked him into letting her go up with him, and well, he couldn't really remember, but somehow they'd... gotten naked, and then...

Morgan glanced at the wrinkled sheets where Jordan had lain. It didn't seem possible. He wouldn't have, no way. He wished he could remember. But, he must have done it, how else would she have gotten into his room? _Fuck._

Morgan fell back onto his pillow and threw an arm over his eyes. _Please. Please, don't let her tell anybody about this._ His only hope was that he could talk to Reid first thing in the morning, when he was completely sober again, and explain the whole mess to him. Maybe he could conveniently leave out the part about her going down on him...

Spencer would understand. He had to.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

_The next morning..._

Reid stepped out of the shower and toweled himself dry. His mind was numb and his heart felt heavy as he slowly dressed. The image of Morgan and Jordan in bed together kept sneaking into his thoughts, no matter how firmly he shoved it aside every single time.

He was glad that, so far, he hadn't had to say anything more to Hotch than a mumbled "Good morning." He knew the senior profiler would pick up on his agitation, and Reid was a lousy liar.

Hotch had already packed and was finishing buttoning the cuffs on his shirt when Reid emerged from the bathroom. Hotch nodded at him.

"Did you sleep all right, Reid?"

"Uh, yeah. Fine."

"Good. I'm going to check out and then grab some breakfast before the press conference. I'll see you downstairs." He took his suitcase and headed out the door. Reid had just begun to listlessly throw things into his travel bag when a knock came at the door.

He opened it; Morgan was standing there, smiling.

"Hey, kid. I saw Hotch leave--are we alone at last?"

Reid could barely speak. He nodded, but didn't move.

Derek's expression became uncertain. "So... can I come in?"

Reid stepped aside. Once the door closed behind him, Morgan put his arms around the boy, hoping he could find the words to lead up to his confession, but Reid twisted away from him.

A worried frown crossed Morgan's face. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Don't call me that! You--_jerk."_

"Huh? What--"

"I saw you, Derek! I saw you last night--with _her."_

"Uh--what?" Derek asked weakly. His stomach was now in knots.

"I snuck out of the room--I went downstairs--I was going to surprise you! I used my key and opened the door. Well, ha-ha, I was the one who got the surprise. I saw her--on you--you were touching her, just like you touch me when I... I hate you, Derek! I _hate_ you. Just get out of here. I don't ever want to speak to you outside of work again."

Shaking, Reid turned away and strode to the window.

Derek came up behind him and put his hands on his shoulders. "Spencer, please. Let me explain. It was all a huge misunderstanding. I did not invite her up--"

Reid whirled around and gave Morgan a fiery glare. "Well, this is fascinating. Not only do we have a most unusual linguistic conundrum, but a physical phenomenon that would make Houdini proud."

"Huh? I don't--"

"Clearly, Jordan Todd is an amazing woman. Not only did she manage to so severely misinterpret your caveman-like utterances as to believe that you actually wanted your cock to be sucked, but she found a way to magically transport herself into your room, with no assistance from you whatsoever!"

"Babe, you're not giving me a chance--"

"No, no, don't you see? The woman not only performed an act of oral sodomy, but one of transubstantiation! It's... absolutely remarkable!"

Morgan swiped a hand over his mouth, trying to stay focused in spite of a splitting headache. "All I'm saying is, I was drunk."

"Bullshit! You hold your liquor better than anyone I've ever met."

"Yeah, but--look, I was really shaken up. Yesterday was so... Hotch and I nearly got shot! You nearly got killed! I guess the booze just went to my head faster than usual, and--"

"Ok, fine. So, you were drunk." Reid's rancor passed and he closed the gap between them until his face was only a few inches from Morgan's. When he spoke, his voice was low and raw. "Then, tell me something, because I'd like to know. Will you please describe to me... the exact moment... the precise second... when you were drunk enough... to break my heart?"

They stood in absolute silence for a long moment, then Morgan spoke in a broken whisper. "I-I didn't mean to--I don't remember--I--"

Reid sneered and shook his head before stepping around his lover. He went back to packing and Morgan threw his hands up. "I didn't mean to do it, Spencer! I wasn't thinking straight--I don't even remember asking her to come up. I was going to leave the bar, and the next thing I knew, she was... I freaked out! I made her leave immediately. I didn't even get off, I swear!"

"Well, that's a shame. Seems to me that if a person is willing to so casually destroy a loving relationship, that they should at least get a little sleazy satisfaction out of the deal. Now--would you please leave?" Reid's voice had taken on a cold, steely quality.

"I swear to God--I don't remember how any of it came down. I just woke up, and there she was--"

"Well, that's convenient. Amnesia makes it all better, doesn't it?"

"No, of course not. I just know I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"Go."

"Spence, please--I love you! You know I would never do something like this--"

"Just _go."_

Morgan stood silently pleading for another long moment, then gave up and walked to the door. He looked back; Reid was zipping up his bag. Morgan took a step toward him.

"Baby, I don't blame you for being upset. We'll talk about this some more after we've both had a chance to calm down, ok?"

Reid turned, bag in hand. "I think we've covered the major points. You apparently can't go even one night without being sexually gratified, and you're not a very inventive liar. As for me--I don't have anything else to say." He went to the door; he slapped Morgan's room key against the bigger man's chest as he walked by and strode to the elevator.

Morgan stared at the card, breathing ragged breaths as he tried to think of something, anything, he could say or do to get Reid to come back, but when he ran out into the hall, all he saw was the elevator door closing and the glow of the red arrow pointing "down."

He slammed his fist against the door jamb, and cursed.


	5. Chapter 5 Hotch Says, Fix It

**A/N: Hello, dears. In this chapter, Hotch tells Morgan to get things back to normal around the office; Garcia comes to his aid. And, this is the next to last chapter, I do believe... Love to you all!**

**Seds**

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The next two weeks were almost unendurable for Morgan. Every day at work, he faced the pain of Reid's utter disengagement from him with as much professionalism as he could muster. But, alone at home, the desolation of being without his love came crashing down inside his mind, leaving him feeling raw and bereft.

He tried again and again to talk with Reid. He'd call him on his cell and on his land line; send him text messages and emails. He'd go to Reid's apartment after work and knock and call to him, but Reid wouldn't even open the door.

One afternoon, Morgan saw Reid leave the office early. When he came home, he found that all of Reid's things were gone from his house, and that his spare key had been left on the kitchen counter. He immediately called Reid's number; there was no answer.

The only thing that gave him any peace was the vague hope that, when the torn edges of the wound from his betrayal eventually healed, Reid might then be willing to give him another chance.

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Reid wasn't the only source of unrest for Morgan during his workday life. Things had been slow at the BAU--no cases came up requiring travel outside the area--and Garcia had had plenty of time to observe and speculate about her favorite agent. She could see that something was wrong and began to pester him to talk to her about whatever it was that was bothering him. After two weeks, he was beginning to run out of excuses for his hang-dog appearance.

And, in some sort of heartless karmic overkill, Morgan had to put up with Jordan giving him a death glare every time she passed him in the hallway or sat across from him in a meeting. Gestures which were not lost on Garcia--or anyone else.

By the third week, Hotch couldn't overlook the tension anymore. He called Morgan into his office. Morgan glanced at his boss's implacable face, trying to judge what was going on.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yes. Please, have a seat." They both sat down. Hotch folded his hands on his desk and pinpointed him with a narrow look. "Morgan. I think you know that I do my best to avoid becoming enmeshed with my team's personal lives. All things considered, I'd rather not know. But, I can't help but notice that things have become strained around here lately, and that it all seems to be centered around you."

"Hotch, I honestly don't know what you're talking about. Everything's fine, and I--"

The supervisor stared without blinking until Morgan shut up. "I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. Agent Todd can barely stand to be in the same room with you. She and Garcia are clearly at each other's throats. Reid's acting like... I don't know what he's acting like, I've never seen him behave this way before. One day I walked into the break room and Emily had her arms around him--I think he was crying. I hate to think that he's taken to using drugs again, but--"

"He's not. I know him, he's staying clean."

"Well, thank God for that. But, obviously, something's wrong. I don't want to know what it is, but I want you to fix it."

"Fix it?"

"_Fix_ it. Apologize. Make amends. Offer reparations. Pay up. Confess, plead for clemency, get down on your knees and grovel, do whatever the hell it is that you have to do. But, I want this team back to normal by this time tomorrow afternoon, do you understand?"

"Well, I--"

"And, I don't want to see any more of my agents crying."

"I--yes, sir."

"All right, then. Thank you."

Morgan didn't reply, just left and headed for Garcia's office. He made a perfunctory tap on her already open door and stepped in. Garcia smiled.

"Hello, hot stuff. What can I do for you today? I'm running a special--miracles performed, twenty-percent off."

Morgan took a seat across from her and fixed a depressed stare in her direction.

"You're not far off, baby girl. A miracle is exactly what I need."

Garcia nodded knowingly. "What's wrong, Derek?" she asked gently.

"It's... complicated."

"Is this about you and Agent Todd?"

Morgan took a deep breath. "Kind of."

Garcia gave him a look of distaste. "She's such a witch with a 'b'."

"What makes you say that?"

"Personal experience. For instance, one day, I was minding my own business, talking about your abs, and I--"

Morgan blinked. "Wait--my abs?"

"Yes, about how amazingly god-like they are and how incredible they look in a skin-tight t-shirt."

"Garcia--"

"Anyway, she told me I was an idiot! Can you believe that?"

"Uh--well, why do you think she said that?"

"She said you were a manipulative son-of-a-gun that likes to play with women's heads for your own sick enjoyment. I told her she was, well, I won't go into what I said, but suffice to say, my guns were smokin' by the time I was done with her. Now, she won't talk to me, which suits me just fine."

"Oh, Penelope. God, I wish you hadn't of done that..."

"Why?"

"Because she's right."

"Huh? Oh, come on, Derek--so you flirt a little, so what? That's just your personality. If she can't tell the difference between that and actual manipulation, she's the idiot."

Morgan shook his head. "Except when I let things get out of hand and go too far."

Garcia cocked her head and narrowed her eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"We were in Oklahoma. I... got drunk. Real drunk. I don't remember a damn thing, but somehow--I ended up in bed with her."

Garcia's eyes widened in genuine horror. "Oh, Derek--no! Ugh, you wouldn't! I mean--how could you? That woman's coochie must be like the fourth pit of hell--"

"Penelope, please! Anyway, we didn't do... _that."_

"Ok--what _did _you do?"

"Nothing! Uh, well, not nothing, exactly, but... I mean, she was--look, never mind, it was all a huge mistake, and I just can't figure out how it all happened. But, one thing's for sure--I really pissed her off when I kicked her out."

"Oh! You kicked her out? Well, of course you did my dear, dear love--"

"I didn't ask her up there, Garcia! I know I didn't. But, somehow, she got in my room, got in bed with me, I woke up and kicked her out, and now she won't talk to me, either. I need to try to find out exactly what happened, but she won't even be in the same room with me, except for meetings."

"Oh, what do you care? JJ'll be back soon, Todd'll leave, and it won't make any difference anyway."

"It's not that simple." Morgan shifted uncomfortably in his chair and leaned forward. "Baby girl, there's something I got to tell you. It's about me and... Reid."

Garcia suddenly stood up and dragged her chair over to face Morgan. She, too, leaned forward and stared intently into his eyes. "What about you and Reid?"

Morgan looked down at the floor for a moment, then raised troubled eyes to hers. "We've been... seeing each other. You know--romantically."

Garcia opened her mouth, then looked as if she were going to squeal. Then, she squealed. "I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! Ha! Oh, that JJ thinks she's so smart, but I knew! I have a sense about these things and I could just tell--the way you two look at each other, those little glances in the meetings, oh, man--"

Morgan grinned a little. "Can't fool you, can I, baby girl?"

"Oh--well, I didn't _really_ know. I just saw you two sort of smiling at each other one day and I started fantasizing."

"Fantasizing?"

"Yeah, you know--you in leather chaps with a bullwhip, Reid in furry purple handcuffs, whipped cream, stuff like that."

Morgan stared, bewildered. "Bullwhip? _Whipped_ _cream?"_

"Yeah, that's my favorite daydream where you two are concerned, but there was that one really slow day when practically nothing was happening, and I got to thinking about peanut butter..."

"Oh, God..."

"But, now I know I wasn't just making things up! Oh, wow, this is the best... But--wait a minute." Garcia's gleeful expression morphed into one of concern. "Oh... Oh, Derek. Are you saying that Reid knows--that something happened between you and what's-her-name?"

Morgan nodded sadly. "He saw us."

"Shit."

"Yeah. My only hope is to figure out what really happened that night so I can explain it to him, and the only person who can help me do that is Jordan--and she won't talk to me. What am I going to do?"

Garcia sat back and pondered for a moment. Then, she brightened. "Are you willing to be honest with her--about you and Reid, I mean?"

"I guess so. It would help explain to her why I behaved the way I did. I'm sick of all this deception anyway. But, I can't speak for Reid."

"If I can guarantee that she won't tell anyone anything, will you tell her the truth?"

"I... yeah, I will. But, how can you--"

"Sweetie-kins, I just have one question."

"Shoot."

"Do you and Spencer love each other?"

Morgan glanced down at his hands. "We did. He kind of hates me, now. But--I still love him. And, I'd do anything to get him back."

"Ok. Give me fifteen minutes." Garcia rose and headed out the door.

"Hey! Where're you going?"

"Can't talk--miracle to perform!" She bounced out of the room and Derek saw that she was headed to Jordan's office. He groaned and stared up at the ceiling.

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Garcia opened Jordan's office door and stalked inside. The dark-haired agent looked up at her disgustedly. "You ever hear of knocking?"

"No time. There's a situation, and--you have to help make it right."

"What are you talking about?"

"Morgan told me about what happened between the two of you."

For a moment, Jordan looked flustered. Then, she regained her composure and stated, "I have no idea what you mean."

"Oh, give it up. You somehow managed to snooker that poor man into letting you into his hotel room. Now, I know you and I have had some... unpleasant moments recently. But, I can tell you one thing--I don't think that you're the kind of person who would purposely ruin someone's life. Are you?"

"Of course not! Ruin someone's life? What do you mean?"

"If Derek could give you an explanation for the reason behind his behavior toward you--would you keep it confidential?"

Jordan made a dismissive noise. "I don't need an explanation. It's very obvious--Morgan's an ass."

"No, he's not. He's a kind, wonderful man who would do anything to help his friends and family. But, he made a mistake. He screwed up and gave you the wrong idea, but there's a reason he acted that way. He's willing to talk to you about it, but I have to be sure he can trust you not to discuss it with anyone else."

"I'm an FBI agent, Garcia. I'll keep his confidence. If it would explain why he turned me away..." Jordan suddenly looked sad. "...of course, I'll speak with him," she said softly.

Garcia nodded. "I think everything will make a lot more sense after you two talk."

"That would be nice."

"I'll tell him to come see you."

"All right."

"And, I really appreciate your cooperation. However, just keep in mind--if you slip up, I have access to your old department's candid Christmas party photos. You do not want to see what I can do with Photoshop."

"Uh... right. Don't worry, I won't say anything." Feeling both disturbed and intrigued, Jordan leaned back in her desk chair and waited for Morgan to appear at her door.

xxxxxxxxxx

Morgan knocked and heard Jordan say, "Come in." He let himself in and stood awkwardly in front of her desk.

"Uh--can we talk?"

Jordan nodded and gestured to a chair. Morgan sat down and took a deep breath. "About what happened in Oklahoma--I want to apologize. I made a huge mistake, leading you on the way I did. I don't have an excuse, but I just wanted you to know--I don't usually let a little harmless flirting get so out of hand."

"Flirting. You made me think... you made me think you wanted me." Jordan meant to sound firm and business-like, but she couldn't keep the hurt tone out of her voice.

Morgan nodded. "I know. I'm so sorry. I just... I'd been drinking, and I was distracted. See, I--I haven't been honest with you--with anyone--about myself. The fact is--I'm gay."

Jordan's jaw dropped. "Gay?"

"Yeah. And, that night--when I realized someone was in the bed with me--I thought--I thought it was... my boyfriend." He raised his hands apologetically.

Jordan's eyes widened and her eyebrows shot up to her hairline.

_"Boyfriend?"_

Morgan nodded. "Yeah. I'm so sorry that I wasn't up front with you, Jordan. I was flirting because--I have this idea that I need to keep my 'stud' image going in front of the team. It's stupid, but I just haven't been ready to deal with coming out to them. Especially since it's not just me that would be affected."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm seeing someone on the team."

Jordan glanced out the window, trying to grasp the meaning of the whole conversation. She looked back at him, utterly bewildered. "Who?"

"Reid."

"Oh, my God." She thought back to that night and Morgan's muffled, "Oh, Spencer." Now, it made sense. "Wow, Morgan. I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me! You should have let me know you were just putting me on--or, at least, not acted like you wanted to get into my pants!"

"I know, I know. I was an asshole to use you like that. I guess I just got carried away. That day was so awful. It's no excuse, I'm just saying that... I wasn't thinking clearly, for a lot of reasons. Anyway, I really am sorry I got you into something that I wasn't looking for. And, I wish I hadn't reacted so badly when I realized it was you in my bed. But, I was so surprised--I just didn't remember you coming up with me, I didn't remember asking you to... be with me. In fact, I can't remember anything after I said good night to you downstairs."

But, Jordan wasn't listening. Suddenly, she turned to him and said, "Does Reid know what happened? Is that why he's been acting so weird?"

Morgan nodded and sighed. "Yeah. He... broke up with me." He looked at her, and the raw pain evident in his eyes struck her hard.

"Oh, no. Because--he thought you asked me to go upstairs with you?"

Morgan nodded again. "Because I _did _ask you. Or, I let you come in, or whatever the hell it was that happened. Like I say, I really can't remember anything after I left the bar, for some reason."

Jordan stood up and walked around her desk. She sat down in a chair next to Morgan's.

"Derek--you didn't invite me upstairs."

He raised his eyes. "I didn't?"

"No. You made it very clear that I wasn't welcome."

"Then how--how did you get into my bed? I don't remember letting you into my room."

Jordan took a deep breath. "I went to the front desk and lied. I said I was your wife. I got a key to your room, and let myself in. You were out like a light. I tried to wake you up, but it seemed like you were pretty loaded. I know I should have left, but I just--I wanted to prove something to myself, I guess. So, I got in bed with you, and--you really did think I was Spencer, didn't you?"

"I thought I was dreaming! But, yeah, then I thought he'd snuck out and came to be with me."

"You said his name."

"I did? Wow. Well, damn. Why can't I remember any of this?'

Jordan chewed her lip thoughtfully, then asked, "Did you take any medicine? Cold tablets, something like that? They can mix with alcohol and really knock you for a whammy."

"Oh, man..." Suddenly, he could see himself standing in front of the bathroom sink in his Oklahoma hotel room. He had a bottle of pills in his hand... It all came washing back into his brain: the way he'd tossed and turned in his bed, unable to let go, unable to sleep; the familiar insomniac anxiousness cutting through the affects of the booze. He could remember it all, now--he'd gotten up and taken not one, but two, sleeping pills...

He was lucky he wasn't dead. He looked up at Jordan like a man coming into the light after three weeks of darkness.

"Damn, Jordan--thank you. I remember now--even as drunk as I was, I couldn't settle down, and I took a couple of sleeping pills. No wonder I didn't even notice when you came in."

"Oh, Derek--that was so dangerous!"

"Yeah, in more ways than one," Morgan agreed ruefully. They were quiet for a while, then Morgan smiled slightly. "Maybe Reid can forgive me, now. I hope so, anyway. I don't think he'll ever take me back, but it would be nice if we could at least be friends again."

"But, Derek--he'll never believe you!" Jordan exclaimed.

"He won't? Why?"

"Oh, honey. It's been weeks, he'll just figure you finally thought up a good excuse. I've been where he is, I know. Let me tell him, ok?"

"You?"

"Yeah--I mean, what do I have to gain by lying about it, right?"

"I guess so."

"You disappear for a while. I'll get him in here and I'll explain everything."

Morgan grasped one of her hands in his. "Jordan--thank you. And, again, I'm so sorry for acting so stupid with you. I really didn't mean to hurt you, too."

"Well, I understand, I guess. I hope you'll back off from sweeping poor, gullible ladies like me off their feet now, though."

Morgan nodded. "Most definitely." He got up and left, and Jordan went to find Reid.


	6. Chapter 6 What Do Scars Do

**A/N: All right, my loves, this is the last chapter... Please drop me a line and let me know if you enjoyed the story! Luv and hugs to all of you, and thanks for reading!**

**Seds**

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Jordan headed to the bull pen and spotted Reid working at his desk. The boy was sitting hunched up with his chin in his hand, squinting at his computer screen. Jordan didn't know him very well, but it was easy to see that he was suffering from some sort of emotional disquiet. She slipped along the row of desks and leaned against the one next to his, positioned so that he could acknowledge her when he was ready, without intruding on his thoughts. She smiled when he raised his eyes to hers.

"Hey, Reid-you ok?"

Reid stared at her and bit back a sharp answer. Even though he didn't really blame her for what had happened with Morgan, the sight of her brought back bad memories, and he preferred not to be in her presence.

"I'm fine, thanks."

Jordan nodded, and pursed her lips for a moment. "Well-I was wondering if we could have a word together. In private."

Reid straightened and turned to face her. "What's this all about?"

"I'd really rather talk in my office, if you don't mind."

"I see. Well-all right." Reid logged off of his computer and stood up. He gestured for her to lead the way, then followed, puzzled and slightly apprehensive. He couldn't imagine what the woman wanted with him, but if it had anything to do with Morgan, he wasn't confident that he would be capable of keeping his emotions in check.

Once in her office, Jordan closed the door behind them and patted one of her guest chairs. She took a seat next to Reid and they were both quiet for a moment. Finally, Jordan took a deep breath and began.

"Oh, boy. This is going to be a little awkward." Jordan gave Reid a sideways look, trying to gauge his mood. Reid's face was completely blank, and he was clearly not going to say anything to help her ease the tension. She decided to plunge right in. "Back in Oklahoma-I know that you know that Morgan and I... ended up in his hotel room together."

Reid continued to stare impassively. "So?"

"Ok. Look, I'm just going to lay the cards on the table-I now know about you and Morgan being in a relationship."

Reid raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. Jordan continued.

"Morgan told me. Just a few minutes ago. When he came to apologize to me."

"Apologize. For what?"

Suddenly, Jordan felt a hot prickle of tears in her eyes. "Oh, wow-this is all so bad. Everything's a huge mess, and it's all my fault."

Reid frowned. "How is it your fault? Morgan's the one who-"

"No, Spencer-may I call you Spencer?-no, he... he didn't do anything wrong. Not as far as what you're thinking, anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"Spencer-Derek didn't ask me to sleep with him."

"Oh, please-I know he was flirting with you. Obviously, he didn't bother to put the brakes on this time. I don't know what you think you're doing, but it's unnecessary. Things are over between Morgan and me, and it's... probably for the best. Unfortunately." He said the last word softly, almost to himself.

"No! No, you don't understand! He not only didn't invite me up, he made it very clear to me that he didn't want my company. I just... didn't listen to him."

"Huh?"

"I thought he was... I don't know, intimidated by me or something. I thought he just needed a little encouragement, and maybe I wanted to prove something to myself as well. Looking back on it, I don't even know what the hell I was thinking, but I went to the front desk and wangled a key to his room. I snuck in and... tried to seduce him."

Reid was staring at her, bewildered. "You snuck in?" Suddenly, his eyes narrowed and his mouth tugged into a cynical grin. "You're serious. You expect me to believe this?"

Jordan nodded. "It's the truth. I have nothing to gain by lying to you. I'm just trying to repair the mistake I made."

Reid shook his head and gave a short laugh. "Ok. Well, this is entertaining, if nothing else. Keep going-so, you got a key and let yourself in. Then what?"

"I went in and tried to wake him, but he was passed out cold, and didn't even notice when I, uh, got in bed with him." Jordan was looking steadily more sheepish as her story went on.

"Wait-you're saying you barged into his room and crawled into his bed and he didn't even wake up? Jordan, that's absurd-even if he was drunk, he'd-"

"He'd knocked himself out with a couple of sleeping pills on top of the booze. He was practically in a coma."

At first, Reid seemed not to understand what Jordan had said and seemed determined to continue his repudiation of her story, but he suddenly paused and a look of horror crept over his face. He remembered seeing those pills in Morgan's travel bag-but, he'd never seen Morgan use them. Could he have? Reid knew Morgan's fear of insomnia... He squirmed around in his chair to look Jordan in the eye, gesturing in agitation.

"He told you he took _pills? _After consuming enough booze for his blood alcohol content to be at least 0.2%? Or worse?Oh, my God-he could have done some serious damage to himself, he knows better than that! I've lectured him on this, I've quoted statistics, he knows the danger! He swore he'd never-why would he do that?"

"I don't know! All I know is, he barely came to enough to... to say your name."

_"What?"_

"Yeah. He thought I was you. And, the minute he realized that I wasn't, he kicked me out. He was really rude about it, and, well-that's why he apologized. It was while we were talking it over that he remembered about the pills." Jordan looked earnestly into Reid's eyes. "He's so torn up about all this, Spencer, it's killing him. And, I'm so, so sorry. I never should have done it, going in there like that, but I'd been drinking myself, and-"

Reid clamped a hand over his mouth and turned a dark gaze in her direction. As he slowly lowered his hand, he felt anger and disgust rising in his throat. "So, you... _violated_ him. His trust, as well as his body. How could you do something so stupid! So... irresponsible? Do you understand what you did to him? To us? I... _Damn_ it. You had no right... You had no right." Reid's hand had turned into a fist and he slammed it down on the arm of the chair.

The tears that had been lurking behind Jordan's eyes suddenly burst free. She turned away and tried to control her emotions, but Reid heard a small sob. He sat silently, feeling the anger wash through him, on top of each of the other powerful emotions fighting for his attention. For a long time, there was no sound in the room other than Jordan's muffled sniffles, and Reid's leg nervously shaking against the chair leg. Finally, he spoke.

"Ok... Ok. Jordan-thank you for telling me this. I know it must have been difficult for you." His voice was gravelly and he didn't meet her eyes when she turned back to look at him with a sorrowful expression.

"I don't blame you for being angry with me. I did a stupid thing, and I'm so sorry. I had no idea, I thought-I thought Derek was into me. I mean, he led me on, he admits it, but still... It all seems so idiotic now, but at the time-there's no excuse for what I did, I know that. But, I'm trying to make it right. You have to talk to Derek. You have to get back together with him. Right?"

Reid shrugged. "I... don't know. Nothing makes sense right now. I'll have to think about it." He stood up and walked to the door, then turned back. "It was good of you to tell me. I appreciate it." Then, he walked out and closed the door behind him. He yanked it just a little too hard and it made a very satisfying slam. He stood in the hallway, looking first toward the bull pen, then toward Hotch's office. It took him a moment, but he made his decision and strode off.

Jordan reached for a tissue and blew her nose. She wished JJ would hurry up and come back from having that damn baby.

xxxxxxxxx

Reid stopped in front of Hotch's open office door and knocked. Hotch looked up.

"Yes?"

"Have a minute?"

"Of course."

Reid came in, closed the door, and sat down. Hotch could see he was upset; he closed the file folder he was working on and put down his pen. "Are you all right?"

Reid shook his head. "No. I'm not."

Hotch's expression softened. "'What's wrong?"

"I just-I don't know what to do."

"About what?"

Reid chewed his lip for a moment, trying to form a coherent sentence. "What would you do if... you found out you were very wrong about something? Something that had caused you to-end a relationship that was really important to you? How would you... put things back together?"

Hotch smiled slightly. "I imagine I'd do the same thing that needs to be done any time two people in a relationship face a challenge. I'd talk. And, I'd listen. If both parties are willing to try, it'll probably work out. A strong relationship can withstand a lot."

Reid glanced out the window, then looked Hotch in the eye. "Do you think that, under such circumstances, a broken heart could heal without scarring?"

Hotch dropped his gaze downward and sighed. He tried to imagine what would happen if Haley walked in the door at that very moment and said she didn't want a divorce after all. He looked back at Reid and saw the confusion and sorrow in his eyes, and for a moment, he had no words. Then, out of nowhere, something came to him and he said gently, "I don't know. I doubt it. But, a scar just tells you where you've been. It doesn't dictate where you're going."

Reid pondered the thought and after a moment, a small smile came to his face and he nodded again. "You know, that makes sense, that helps. Ok. Thank you." He stood up and walked to the door. Then, he turned and glanced back at his supervisor. "Oh, and, uh-thanks for not asking any questions."

"You knew I wouldn't."

"Yeah." He raised a hand in farewell and left. Hotch picked up the report he was working on and pursed his lips.

_Morgan has exactly twelve hours to put the light back into that boy's eyes, or he's going to have more paperwork come across his desk than he's ever seen in his life..._

Hotch put the report back on the pile. Just in case.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Reid spotted Morgan in Rossi's office. He tapped at the open door, and Rossi greeted him.

"Reid. Come in."

"Hi, Dave-am I interrupting?"

"No, not at all. Morgan and I were just discussing the new player for the Mets. Morgan doesn't like him. He seems to think someone... made a foolish decision."

Reid raised an eyebrow at Morgan. "Well-he'd know a thing or two about that."

Morgan had been silently standing aside, wishing Reid would look at him. When he did, there was something in the kid's face that made his heart leap. He smiled; Jordan must have had a good talk with him.

"Yeah, kid-I sure do."

Rossi looked from one to the other, frowning. "Do you boys need to talk? I'm going for a cup of coffee-feel free to use my office."

Morgan looked hopefully at Reid, who nodded. "Thanks, Dave."

Rossi smiled to himself. He had no clue as to what was going on, but it was the first time the two men had spoken directly to each other about anything other than a case in over two weeks and if they needed a quiet place to smooth things over, he was happy to provide it. He left and closed the door behind himself.

Morgan moved to stand in front of Reid. "I-"

Reid's eyes flashed. "You're an idiot."

Morgan started to say something, then thought better of it. He nodded. "I know."

"How could you risk your life like that? Mixing drugs and alcohol-you could have died!"

"I know. But-"

"Derek, if anything had happened to you-I don't even want to think about it."

Morgan gave him a wry smile. "I know that feeling."

"I want you to dispose of those pills."

"I will."

"And, we have to tell the rest of the team about us. This whole disaster is a result of deceit and deception."

"Ok. We'll tell them today."

Reid crossed his arms. "And, I don't want you flirting with anyone else ever again, under any circumstances."

Morgan frowned thoughtfully. "What about Garcia?"

"Garcia doesn't count."

"Ok. Done."

"And... I think you better kiss me, now."

The relief and happiness flooding Morgan's soul made it hard for him to speak. Finally, he choked out, "Ok. I can do that." Morgan took Reid's face in his hands and continued, "I _want _to do that..." For a moment, Reid could tell he was searching the planes of his face, examining his expression, analyzing the set of his jaw, the curl of his lips. Morgan was looking for something, something he had lost, and he found it in Reid's eyes. He pulled the boy tightly into his arms.

"I _need _to do that, but first, I have to tell you something, I have to tell you how sorry I am, and how much I-" Reid silenced him, kissing him first softly, then deeply, and then he fit himself against Morgan's taut body and kissed him as if he were a man back from the dead.

After the initial wave of heat and pain and joy had passed, they pulled back enough to look into each other's eyes.

"I'm just so sorry I put you through all of this," Morgan whispered.

Reid hugged him and spoke softly. "I'm to blame, too. I just couldn't understand it. That should have told me that there was more to the story than appeared on the surface. I'm so sorry, Derek. I should have looked closer. I should have trusted you."

Morgan shook his head adamantly. "No, I don't blame you one bit. You've always been a man of science-and, the known facts just didn't support any other conclusion. Believe me, I know."

Reid grinned. "That is... where faith comes in. I should have had more faith."

They stood soaking each other up for a moment, then Morgan slipped an arm around Reid's shoulders. "So... shall we go tell the team we're more than just friends?"

"Yeah... I kind of suspect a few people already know, don't you?"

"Yep. Did you know Garcia fantasizes about what we do in bed?"

Reid stopped short of the door. "She does? Oh, God... What does she think we do?"

"Lots more exotic stuff than we've ever even thought about. Bullwhips. Leather. Stuff like that."

"Huh." Reid opened the door and stepped backwards into the hall, keeping an intent gaze on Morgan. "What else?"

"Whipped cream. Peanut butter."

Reid paused and cast a lascivious smirk at Morgan. "Think Hotch would let us off early tonight?"

"What for?"

"I don't know about the leather and bullwhips, but I think we need to go to the grocery store. Last time I stayed at your place, I noticed that you were low on peanut butter, and completely out of whipped cream. Tonight-we're going to need a lot of both!"

Dave Rossi nearly dropped his coffee cup.

The End.


End file.
